Daddy's girl
by severe cold
Summary: After coming back from Sound, killing his brother and finally settling down, Sasuke thought that his life would be a piece of cake from then on. His daughter had proven him quite wrong... Parody


**A/N: All grammar mistakes in Mino-chan's speech are intentional**** (though there's probably a lot of unintentional ones, too…).**

**Warning: Contains OoC Sasuke and an OC. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

**This fic was supposed to be**** the fluff I promised to fakeangel100. Ugh… it turned out a bit not-at-all-fluffy, but I still hope you like it! **

Daddy's girl

SasuSakuSasuSakuSasuSaku

It was a beautiful, sunny Sunday morning – the sky was clear, the breeze was soft and birds were singing.

Uchiha Sasuke, the wide-known, self-proclaimed avenger (now retired from this position, after completing his life's goal) was seating by his kitchen table in his kitchen in his mansion with his wife cooking his breakfast ( a bit reluctantly though – she was a feminist and thought that _he_ should cook as well, despite how many times he said that he just_ couldn't _) and his trademark smirk on his face.

(Yeah, he knew he was a possessive bastard, and damn proud to be one.)

The smirk was caused by a very pretty blush on his wife's cheeks.

Which was caused by her utmost annoyance. (And anger)

Which was caused by him, as usual. She looked too cute (though he would never admit even using such a word) for her own good when angered and he just couldn't resist the temptation. And she was _way _too easy to piss off.

His smirked was wiped off of his face immediately when he heard light footsteps coming in the direction of the kitchen.

'_Shit.'_

And judging from the triumphal glint in his wife's eyes she had heard them too.

'_Don't come here, d__on't come here, don't co- FUCK!'_

A six-year-old girl with raven hair and green eyes run into the room.

"Kaa-chan!!! Kaa-chan!!! I've had a dream(!) tonight, kaa-chan, and I remembered it, well, almost all, I just forgot this tiny, little part in the middle, kaa-chan, and it wasn't important at all, because I'd remember it then, wouldn't I, kaa-chan(?), and in this dream I was in Academy, and I was with Takari-baka, Na-chan, and even with Sa-kun(!), and Takari-baka said something mean to me, so it wasn't so good there, kaa-chan, but I said something really smart then and everyone laughed, even Sa-kun(!), and then he wanted to fight me, Takari-baka, kaa-chan, of course, not Sa-kun(!), because it would be very lame then, right(?), so I fighted him, and guess what, ka-chan, I won(!) and then you came, and Sasuke-tou-san came, yeah, you were in my dream tou-san, I was surprised as well, but, anyway, you came and, oh, Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-jii, I mean Kakashi-nii, don't tell him I called him Kakshi-jii, kaa-chan, you too, tou-san, he doesn't like it, and they said that I'll make it to ANBU(!) soon, and you all agreed and even tou-san, yeah, you tou-san, said you are proud(!) of me, and…"

God, does this girl ever shut up? He often wondered if she wasn't the dobe's daughter after all. Not that he didn't trust his wife, but how the hell was it possible that she blabbered so much, and so quickly, and with no space between words, and with so much 'and's? Uchihas do _not _do such things! Uchihas should be collected and calm and quiet and cool and menacing and, fuck her 'and's must be contagious. But he knew that the worst was yet to come.

'… and then we all went somewhere really cool, like, I dunno an amusement park(?), I'm not sure, 'cause this was the part I forgot, and we had to get in pairs, and, guess what, Sa-kun(!) said that he wants to be with me(!), and he even held my hand, kaa-chan, and we-' the girl stopped abruptly, finally noticing that something with her kaa-chan was _not _as it should be. It wasn't like she wasn't listening, because kaa-chan always listened to her, unlike tou-san, but she seemed a bit unfocused, and she _should _be focused, because her kaa-chan always listened to her!

"Kaa-chan, are you… upset?" this one was spoken slowly and evenly, just like an Uchiha should talk, but Sasuke was _far_from pleased. He looked at his wife with slightly widened eyes. Don't get him wrong, he was _not_ afraid of his six-year-old daughter. He just preferred to avoid very unpleasant, and extremely annoying avoidable things.

'_Say 'no', say 'no', say 'no', say-'_

"Just a little Mino-chan, but don't worry about that".

That_ bitch_. And how she said that with that don't-worry-honey-your-kaa-chan-is-okey-it-doesn't-hurt-at-all expression. And with fucking mischief in her eyes, while looking directly at him.

Mino-chan followed her mother's gaze until it landed on her father. Her eyes instantly narrowed.

"Tou-san…" well, _this_ part of her was definitely from him. Naruto would piss in his pants if he heard her now.

"Tou-_chan_…"

Fuck, he was really _screwed_. She never called him 'tou-chan' unless she was really pissed off.

"Have you made kaa-chan sad _again_?" she was still speaking slowly. Infamous Uchiha glare already forming on her face, while she closed a distance between her and her father.

Sasuke decided to ignore her.

Bad move.

"You did, you did, didn't you, _tou-CHAN_?!?! How could you do it, kaa-chan is so nice and so kind and so pretty, and don't you love her at all, tou-chan(?), and look at kaa-chan, how sad she is-" she didn't look too sad at the moment, but the girl couldn't see that, because she was too busy glaring at Sasuke."-and what have you done this time, tou-chan(?), did you call kaa-chan annoying again, and knocked her off, and left her on the bench, and then went somewhere again for some stupid reason, well, I know you didn't, you're here, tou-chan, I'm not blind, you know, and don't look at me like that, Kakashi-nii once told me that you did this-"

'_You're dead, Kakashi.'_

"-I was a bit surprised, but I guess, _you_could did that, tou-_chan_, even though it was very cruel, and you must have been very mean when you were kid, well, Naruto-jii said me that you were, but he's Takamari-baka's father, so I wasn't sure if I could believe that, but when Kakashi-nii told me that I thought you were very mean too, but anyway, it doesn't matter, you were mean to kaa-chan again, she may cry because of you, and then you would feel very guilty, tou-chan, so _YOU SHOULD APLOGIZE TO HER!!!!_" he just hoped that after it is over he'd still have his eardrums in one piece.

He knew what he had to do to make it stop. And he'd be better off if he did it now, before his daughter gets even more pissed. He glanced at his wife from the corner of his eye, hesitating. And decided that there's no way in hell that he'd do it. She was fucking _smirking _at him and with an _Uchiha smirk_, too! (when the hell did she master it?!!) He's not apologizing. He was a bloody Uchiha after all, and a man, and he had his fucking pride, for God's sake!

"I won't."

The girl went livid. She was trembling slightly with fury. Her eyes narrowed into thin slits and were throwing daggers at him, making him sure that if a look could kill he'd have been six feet under a long time ago. He was already mentally preparing himself for the rest of her speech (which was sure to come, louder, longer and more annoying) when suddenly it all stopped. His daughter got a calm, calculating expression on her face, she seemed deep in thoughts.

Then suddenly she looked at him with sadness in her big, sparkling emerald eyes.

'_What the fu__-'_

"You… You don't love us anymore, tou-_san_?" her voice was quiet and calm now, slightly trembling, her eyes full of unshed tears.

He knew that tactic. Hell, he was the girl's father, he knew her inside out! She's definitely feigning it, there's no way he would fall for it. ('again' added a little annoying voice in the back of his mind, but Sasuke decided to ignore him)

"S-Sasuke-tou-san…" her lips were trembling more.

Fuck. What if she's not feigning it? She's just a six-year-old, right? Six-year-olds don't make such devilish plans, do they?

Her shoulders started shaking.

'_Get a grip, Uchiha, she's feigning it, she has just been yelling a__t you, don't fall for it, don't fall for it, DO NO-'_

She was looking at him with big, wet, pleading, puppy-dog eyes.

Maybe she really meant that? Maybe she really was just genuinely sad? Maybe she really was just a cute loving little girl?

'_Damn it all to hell…'_

"Sorry…" he muttered barely audibly.

"I DIDN'T CATCH THAT, TOU-CHAN!!!" screamed the girl, all signs of her sadness gone.

Well, I guess that's it for 'cute loving little girl' part.

"FINE!!! I'M SORRY SAKURA, SATISFIED NOW?!?"

The girl smiled slyly at him "Is it how you should apologize, tou-_chan_?".

He sent her a full-powered Uchiha glare, but it seemed that she was completely immune to it.

'_Don't you dare…'_

"Stand up, tou-chan."

"No."

"STAND UP, TOU-CHAN!!!" Sasuke winced and very, very reluctantly stood up.

"Go to kaa-chan." Even more reluctantly, he did.

"And apologize to her."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, just not to look at his wife, who (he was _so_ sure of that) was grinning madly at him. His voice was full of annoyance "Look, Sakura, I'm-"

"Like you mean it, tou-_chan_."

Sasuke gritted his teeth. If the girl hadn't been his daughter he would have killed her _long _ago.

He looked into Sakura eyes and muttered, trying as much as he could to sound sincere. "I'm sorry for angering you Sakura."

She smiled at him sweetly "Ah, don't worry, I forgive you Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke just gave her the you're-going-to-get-for-this-later look.

"Wasn't so hard, was it tou-chan?" the girl was clearly contented. Her father didn't find the question worth answering. He had already humiliated himself enough for the day.

"So now kaa-chan will sit and you'll make her breakfast, wait, you can't cook tou-san, right(?), so I guess you'll just make her tea to make up to her and then we're clear, isn't that great tou-san!!!" Mino-chan beamed at him happily. It seemed the he hadn't humiliated himself enough for _her_.

With a quiet, unnoticed sigh of resignation Sasuke got down to preparing tea. What was the point of quarreling with his daughter some more? His ears, ego and pride were injured enough, thank you very much.

And she would win again anyway.

SasuSakuSasuSakuSasuSaku

**A/N: So, guys, how was that? I'd ****REALLY**** be grateful if you reviewed. And I don't mind flames at all. Please, at least tell me if it was funny. ('Cause it was supposed to be.) Just simple 'yes' or 'no' will make my day.  
**


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